i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize