you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
