next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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