playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
