So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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