im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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