i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
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he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
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I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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