I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
