remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
