she peed on how many people?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
