Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize