Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
So vagazzling was a success
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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