I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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