And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
