Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
the day after is always just damage control
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
