STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.