yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.