I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
