Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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