it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
