Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
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Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
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Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again