Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?

(504): View more from Louisiana

Aren't all three of those the same though?

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(917): There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it? (504): Aren't all three of those the same though? http://tfl.nu/bg7f

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.

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(306): Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire. http://tfl.nu/uvyh

Replies (10) Good night (3920) Bad night (1199)
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(206): View more from Washington

He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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(206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski

Replies (17) Good night (4787) Bad night (1458)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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(507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6

Replies (6) Good night (942) Bad night (3191)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.

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(704): Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/6wvk

Replies (9) Good night (2105) Bad night (947)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors

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(250): We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors http://tfl.nu/t3jz

Replies (11) Good night (5204) Bad night (818)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment

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(610): How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment http://tfl.nu/bnot

Replies (4) Good night (661) Bad night (343)
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(757): View more from Virginia

YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.

(1-757): View more from Virginia

Wait, that's an option?

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(757): YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE. (1-757): Wait, that's an option? http://tfl.nu/2xp5

Replies (5) Good night (1334) Bad night (352)
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(704): View more from North Carolina

I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again

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(704): I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again http://tfl.nu/6zh5

Replies (4) Good night (952) Bad night (524)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me

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(306): I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me http://tfl.nu/ybnl

Replies (3) Good night (247) Bad night (709)
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(561): View more from Florida

No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.

(917): View more from New York City

That's how he does EVERYTHING!

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(561): No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball. (917): That's how he does EVERYTHING! http://tfl.nu/mjzo

Replies (0) Good night (535) Bad night (300)
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(831): View more from California

I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.

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(831): I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life. http://tfl.nu/o2k1

Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (263)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

Why do you hate her?

(1-601): View more from Mississippi

She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....

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(601): Why do you hate her? (1-601): She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina..... http://tfl.nu/0u28

Replies (1) Good night (726) Bad night (264)
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(714): View more from California

HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again

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(714): HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again http://tfl.nu/hogt

Replies (0) Good night (463) Bad night (222)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.

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(248): I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious. http://tfl.nu/rvem

Replies (0) Good night (517) Bad night (241)

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