I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter