I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
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please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left