Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize