i dedicated my morning wood to you.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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