Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
