our cab driver is having phone sex.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
