I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
