so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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