so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
