Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
