he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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