So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
