new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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