You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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