dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
