Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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