Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
