is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
