Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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