how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This is the high leading the old right now
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
