Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
