How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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