If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
