We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
