i permit you to call me
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
