Porn is love you can see.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am mentally ready for anal.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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