Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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