A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
