I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he was CRYING into my vagina
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My vagina is very pro this idea
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
