There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
