No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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