dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
