he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
MIDGETS
????
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
