she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
