Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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