I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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