There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
