I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
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All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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